When you feel anger at your spouse/partner, stop and think: what you are afraid of?
Behind your anger is (likely) fear. Identify and acknowledge that fear and share it with your significant other in a loving and nonthreatening way. Preempt the slide into automatic discord by stopping your launch into attack mode – instead, acknowledging and sharing your fears.
Give your loved one the opportunity to show availability, be supportive and accept you as you are; which is a recipe for lasting and deepening love.